When my sister and I cleaned out our mother's apartment after her death, we found our father's favorite red and gray long-sleeved shirt tucked between mom's blouses.   He had died almost two years earlier.

Pamela shook her head.  “That rag should have been the first thing to go.  It's one ugly mother of a shirt.” 

I took it from her.  “Dad wore it a lot towards the end.  It still smells like him.” 

“I wouldn't know,” she said  

Her eyes glistened.  “Smells so bad it's making my eyes water.”  Grabbing the shirt, she stuffed it into the large black plastic bag we were using for trash.  “There,” she said. “That's over with.”

All though growing up, in my father's eyes, Pamela could do no wrong.  “Princess Pam,” he'd call her.

My mother was the one to bring us back to reality.  “A princess would wash her more often.” 

When she graduated college and married a nice Jewish boy, my parents were ecstatic.  He was a male nurse, but he wore scrubs and that was close enough for dad.  “We have a medical man in the family,” he'd say.  Never failing to then remind  me of the C I got in high school biology.

Pam began law school and dad couldn't be more proud.   Even when she and Tommy began divorce proceedings, Dad supported her.

“He was jealous of you,” he declared during a family Thanksgiving dinner. 

“You got that right,” Pam said.

I sensed there was more to come.  I could tell by the way my mother looked at Pam, she did, too.

“I'm pregnant.”

“Tommy?” Mom asked.

“No,” Pam said.

“I knew it.  Will we meet your new--”

“I doubt it,” Pam interrupted.  She chose not to explain further.

Dad hugged her, saying whatever happened, he still loves her, and we tried small talking our way through dinner.  I thought it was Dad's best moment.

But his support for his princess ended when Pam gave birth to a beautiful black baby boy.  The more the baby's skin darkened, the more distant he grew.   When the family gathered for Jason's one month birthday, Dad called Pam's son a nigger.

Mom cherished her new role as grandmother. My new wife and I babysat our nephew so Pam could complete law school at night.  Dad refused to even visit.

Pam and I finished cleaning the apartment in silence.  With a sigh, she volunteered to throw out the overstuffed trash bag.