Reflections of a Father
by Mark Livanos Looking from the window, my thoughts wander about kids grown, memories lost. Marveling at fingers wrapped around my pinky that once took hold of my soul. Rocking my eldest in arms full of youth slowly sapped by never ending cries of anguish. Crawling from the crib towards the door for down time with my wife. Holding an empty mayo jar from which chicken pieces are spoon fed in ever smaller loop-de-loops. Enduring screams to force down medicine used to suppress rampant symptoms. Listening to teachers blame me for my son’s not fighting back. Calming fears caused by his visions, known to no others, that stole his youth. Going into the abyss of mental illness, to slum around for solutions. Learning to let go of control as one day his relentless torment will proceed without me. |
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